Fat and nearly dead

So its finally happened, I've gained enough weight to put stretch marks on my stomach.  The largest problem being that now I have a job that has me sitting down for most of the day it is hard to get the exercise that I got in my normal day at TAC.  I'm hoping that if I can start up doing my morning workout with Anthony I should start to see result to slow this weight gain.  I'm also going to look for some Zumba videos that Shaula can do at home with out the kids interrupting the workout.  This way Shaula can get a workout in during the day and hopefully I can get an extra one in if I get home in time.  Finally my last plan is to start a ten day juice fast.  After watching "Fat, Sick, and nearly dead" I've decided that this would be an excellent way to reboot my system and help me loose weight.   Since Shaula's parents got me a juicer for Christmas this is something I really want to do. My goal for this fast is to use this blog as a journal through out my fast, hopefully this will provide a way to look back at the fast and see how it worked out.

Suit up!

Things have been going good, finally got some new suits so I can finally suit up for those important occasions thought I do have to have a tailor take the sides in on them first.  I’ve been playing around with some story ideas while at work and I might have a couple I might actually start flushing out.  My problem I’ve noticed is that I have a hard time relating what is in my head to the paper.  My hands are spiting it out as fast as they can but they can’t capture everything I’m thinking, so then I get discouraged and drop it.  What I’ve decided is that I’m going to start writing for at least a half hour a day.  My goal is to get over this problem and to get used to writing out a full story even if it is short and trash.  I figure I can post it her on the blog and let everyone tear over it.

closed doors and open opportunities

So its been a rough couple of weeks between all that is going on. I'm trying to maintain a positive spin on everything but trust me it is hard as hell. Last night I had a couple of rough dreams reliving what I went through on Wednesday but I have felt better today. I want to thank my wife, kids, and all of my friends for the support they have given me so far. I am still focused on the future, hell you could even say that I am more focused then I have been in years. I am honing my Java like a swordsman sharpens his blade on a wet stone, once i'm back to what I was I will be a force to be reckoned with. Right now my goals are landing a job with IBM and freelancing a program for Jason at TAC. If I can land a job with IBM my goals for my carrier will be start to be realized. If I can work with them for at them minimum of one year I will have the experience I need to land a job with anyone else. If I can work out an independent contract with TAC I can get a couple of extra bucks to add to my investment funds.

The thing that I have been telling myself is “My happiness is not dependent on the approval of others.” It has taken me these 27 years to come to this conclusion. While it does give me happiness to give joy to others, I am not bound to it. I think that the reason why I have been unhappy for all of these years has been because I have always been trying to please the people that I think are the most important to me, without taking into consideration what it is that I want. I know that in the world we live in the “ME” is more important that the “US” but there is a bit of truth in this. I have only been recently been focusing on what my needs are and I think that because of that I can give more to everyone when “I” am at my best.

Retreat in the making

I've been talking with a number of my different male friends at work and we have all come to the understanding that it would be beneficial to us if we had a male retreat twice a year. A time for reflection, relaxation, and bonding with other men. It seems like in today’s world that everything is obsessed with being as productive as possible and to try to have the most crap. In all reality we have given up our mental, physical, and spiritual health in order to become more productive in order to have more things. My goal for this retreat is to help myself and a group of other guys to help us get back in touch with our masculine selves so that we can try to regain back some more of our mental and spiritual health.

So as of right now I’m working on figuring out what to call this retreat, I've been leaning toward something with Bear in the name but haven't come up with anything final yet. My goal is to start up a group page on face-book and invite all of the guys that I know and then start planning the different events that I want to have.

The weight is killing me

I’ve been feeling like crap lately and after a large amount of reflection I have decided that a large part of it is that I don’t feel as healthy as I used to.  I like staying active and working out and eating right but this last year has found all of that kind of sliding off into obscurity.  So I have decided that what I’m going to start working on is to first and for most start training myself to wake up at 5:00AM from here on out.  The reason being that I can go running or go to the gym first thing in the morning and it has the largest benefit to weight loss and at the same time keeps me from getting side tracked with the things that have been sucking away my attention.  The second thing I’m going to be focusing on is to start adjusting the diet that my family is currently eating.  As of right now we eat a lot of different vegetables and we don’t eat much red meat at all so changing it to include more veggies and cutting out more of the less healthy and more fatty foods should be a good step toward a healthier family and me.  Also I’m working on finding different recipes and snack ideas to help add variety to our meals.

I’m also debating about re-upping my membership at PF since they are 24/5 and the crowd tends to be a lot less in the mornings.  I used to do this running/working out in the mornings for a while and it worked out well for me then so I’m hoping that it will do so now.  All in all I really want to plan and execute participating in one of these mud obstacle races, and if I can stick to this workout/diet plan it should pan out.

Taste tested and job offers

  So after having sampled my alcoholic mixture a number of times I find it lacking in a number of different ways.  Although through this lacking I am hoping to improve upon my next batch.  Although this next time around I don’t think I will go as ambitious as five gallons which is what I made last time.  What I want to make this next time is something that is going to be sweeter with a much larger bite to it.  I have been doing some thinking and have come up with an idea of fermenting it twice.  The first time I will ferment it with just the juice, sugar, and honey mixture and then I’ll siphon that mixture out of the first container into a second container where I will put spices in with it and some more sugar and allow that to ferment for a bit longer.  I think the resulting concoction will be much closer to the mixture that I am trying to achieve. 

  On another note I had a dear friend of mine call me up this weekend to inform me that he has Inpasima and needs someone he can trust to take over for him at his work.  He came to me to offer me the job asking that I send him a resume that highlights any experience I have in maintenance and has-mat.   Unfortunately this job is out toward Detroit and would be a hell of a commute not to mention that it would take a hell of a lot of time away from the internship that I’m working on getting through my brothers company.  If this was anyone else I would simply turn down this offer but since it is this one friend with the situation that he is in I am hesitant to simply turn him down.

Booze and baby showers

So I’ve finally finished my first batch of Mead here is to hoping it comes out fairly palatable.  My guess is that it’s going to be as strong as a mule kick and taste like engine degreaser, but who knows.  I’ve got several people lined up to try it so they can give me some feedback and I’ll be able to adjust my recipe on the next go.  Although with 20/20 hindsight I probably should have made a smaller batch than 5 gallons for my first try at, Meh oh well.

In other news, my brother had a baby shower for out soon to be nephew so that was rocking.  Through it was the first baby shower I’ve been to where it was ok to kick back a number of glasses of whiskey and eat some awesome food.  But all in all it went well and I think that everyone had a great time and that William came out like a bandit.